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Archive for the ‘I'm going to Hell’ Category

(DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! While I generally disdain the use of expletives in my posts, tonight they express the exact emotion I am feeling. If you don’t like bad words, please move on.)

Walk Like a Man, Cowboy Up, Do the Right Thing – all euphemisms for making the tough choices that life demands be made.

Sure, there are times when it would be easier to curl up in a corner, sucking your thumb and crying for your momma to fix things – but we adults are not afforded such luxuries. We have to face our problems, make a decision and move on. To curl up in a ball and do nothing is to cede your life to the uncaring whims of time. Eventually you will wake up, take the thumb out of your mouth, look at your bloated body stuffed into a pair of Spiderman Underoos and wonder what the fuck happened. Been there, done that, it blows (and no, this post is not about specifically about me).

Sometimes the choices that have to be made all suck. Would you like to eat shit or be shit on? That’s the choice. Both blow. Too fucking bad. Choose. (For the record, I can’t tolate the taste of shit, so please relieve yourself on my shoes.)

Now you’re walking around with shit-shoes, thinking life can’t possibly get worse than this – and it does. Now your choice is to eat shit with or without corn chunks. This really blows. Life sucks. I can’t take it any more.

But you have too take it. That is unless you are just going to pack it up and off yourself. Choosing to not make a decision is the same as waking up in your Spidey Underpants or offing yourself.

Only cowards choose the underpants.

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Next up, a post about my bag.

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Who loves Zeus?

My niece, Paige, is a very cute two years old. Her parents have taught her to sign “I love Jesus” while saying the words. While the signing looks to be ok (as far as I can tell), the words are a slight bit off. No problem, I am sure “Zeus” appreciates the shout out.

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